megan fox's magical metallic blue eyebrows

So the hair cut turned out ok. I let the stylist layer my hair and she didn't try to talk me into shaving one side of my head like what all the cool kids are doing. Apparently I am either too old or not hip enough to rock a style that cutting edge.

Today at work, a Megan Fox wannabe came in just as I was about to get off shift to try and return a box of hair dye. She had already opened and used it, and the product itself had worked, and done its job, so there was not really a whole lot I could do to help her. What had happened, was this girl, a natural blonde, had bought Loreal Feria's Bright Black dye, and used it on her eyebrows. Now, on the box, it says "Do not use on predominantly grey hair" which is because grey hair is somewhat resistant to dye, and will turn a metallic blue with this product. Now, in the box, in the INSTRUCTIONS (aka readme.txt) there is a big warning about trying to dye your eyebrows, mostly because the ammonia causes blindness, and Loreal is not willing to be held liable for its retarded consumers, but ALSO because eyebrow hair is a lot thicker than regular hair, and like grey hair, it'll just go blue.

That's what happened to Megan Fox's eyebrows

She yelled at the pharmacy tech and I for fifteen minutes as a lineup built behind her of people snickering about the concept of "metallic blue eyebrows". We ended up calling our suppliers head office, who said the same things we did, so we passed her off to Loreal themselves. Who probably will do fuck all either, because they're not going to be held liable for retarded consumers. As a foot note to this story, she told us she spent over a hundred dollars going to a salon to get them to fix her eyebrows and made suggestions that we should have covered that cost as well.

This was a far less interesting story than the guy who told me he just got out of jail and had managed to catch HIV from a toilet seat, test positive immediately, and fight it off within two weeks with nothing but garlic and limes. But that's another story from another job.


Crazy Newt said...

Bwwwwaaaaaaaaa Ha ha ha! Garlic + Limes cures HIV!? That dude needs to let people KNOW! You should've asked him, though:

DUDE: Yeah, this garlic and lime combo cures HIV.
YOU: Are you positive?
DUDE: ....yeah.
YOU: Well then, it didn't work.
DUDE: But this garlic and lime combo cures HIV....

(and repeat)

Also, the blue eyebrow drawing wins the internet. Brilliant.

Blu said...

I'm working on a post to elaborate on Garlic and Lime guy.